i truly know what u mean now, my dear friend... heh cant call u now so im kinda talking to you here :) 
it's just those times when u feel lonely tho u're not alone... and deep down inside u know something's missing and the emptiness completely fills your mind. irony, irony. 
and going to glcc vibe cafe today only made things worse... when you suddenly find you're all alone... or even when playing sth in a group u realise how some people can make u feel like u're not really there at all.. like you're just a fomite dishing out cards. and i can draw so many similarities to her situation now i think i feel what she's feeling. you know that sth is just really wrong... the environment u're in should be friendly, all welcoming, all loving...almost like a family... and it should make u feel that just somehow, u matter. but instead u feel uncomfortable and u try so hard to make a difference. u try once, twice, thrice. u give it a chance, and another. and multiple ultimatums later, i wonder if i should be opting for a change as well... pls Lord, where art thou?  
or perhaps the change should be rgd where my self-worth is placed
and as Kanye West so aptly put it,
N- n- now th- that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

 
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark

Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
 

陽光越過窗沿
我在陰影裡面~哦
才過正午十三點　就漆黑一片　沒有人看得見
我心深處的陰暗面
只能眺望東邊
妳的世界太遠~哦
撐到想像的極限　幸福有多甜
可黑夜已吞噬我　就是拉不到妳的手

*因為我活在西邊　只擁有半個白天
一到午後夜色就蔓延
雖然和妳面對面　卻看不到我的臉
感覺到妳不安的視線
在西界的那一邊　只能有半個白天
暗自祈禱上天的垂憐
在長夜的邊緣　給我一絲光線
讓妳　能多看我一眼

save for the terribly sore throat and little studying i did today... 
it was a great day! 

BEAMS ALL OVER :)

i am so terribly depressed!!! 
my msn messenger refused to work cos i gotta download the latest version first... and after i downloaded it it refuses to install!! 
and facebook gave up on me... apparently there's some server problem i cant do anything on it.. 
fine. if the greater force from somewhere up there is telling me i should be stopping my current decadence... i think i agree.
one week, two days. 
it's about time.

lunch at HOSHI at IMM yesterday with weicheng was fantastic!! haha... at close to 35 per head... it had better be.. (heehee Thank youu!! :)) the sashimi was really really fresh... and my favs were the fatty salmon, swordfish, sweet prawns and codfish! no pics tho. was too busy eating to whip out my phone. 

then came trg. which turn out pretty bad cos i pulled my thigh muscle a little :(( kiwi and i left early to meet the rest of es.ca.pes (except mich) to surprise cach at marina sq... heheh HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY my lil' one!!! im so glad for u that u're in good hands!! :)) 

haha then later came the usual storytelling... which was shocking as usual. somehow we always have the most interesting stuff to share...heh. was nice to be understood for once in a very long time...to have ppl who share some similar views as to how certain things should have been handled. 

fulfilled. 

freedom.